Warning!!!!

So I woke up this morning and checked under my cover to see a motherfucking raccoon sleeping on top of my feet. WTF?!?!? How the hell did a raccoon get to the hood and how the fuck did it get into my home. I proceeded to beat its ass with my bat signed by the GREAT Ken Griffey Jr. Yeah it has blood on it now but I'm still alive.

Let this go as a warning ladies and gents, lock up your doors and bolt your windows shut because you will not know what will enter your house during the night. Be careful out there, there is no telling if a baby kangaroo may sneak under your bed or a whale shark may invade your fish tank. Last week a three eyed deer was in front of my door asking for sugar. New York has officially become the Animal Kingdom.

This is the beginning.....
Andy the Ass