Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year

So the ball is about to drop in a few hours for the AppleBeans community and we just wanted to make sure we gave the best wishes to everyone out there that follow the blog and the possible new followers of the blog. May you and your fam have a great 2010. This is our first year doing this blogging shit and its been a cool little ride but without you guys out there we would be nothing. So we would also like to extend our gratitude and keep stopping by because we will not dissappoint. Now go out there get wasted (Gucci!!!), but drink responisbly and have a great time.....



Love ya,
Drizzy & Papa P

Dat Dude Of The Month (Month of December)

I'm going to cut to the chase here just to wrap up the holiday season and holiday theme. This guy produces some of the funniest movies out there and since one of his movies (ELF) depicted a character from the whole theme of Christmas this guy will get the DDOW award for the month of December. With no further delay let's give it up for everyone's favorite Will Ferrell.











Happy Holidays Ladies & Gents,
Drizzy The Elf

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Farts And Trains

You know what is nasty? Walking behind a cropduster in the subway. I mean I'm not going to sit here and say that I don't let one rip here and there but gaddamn yo some people think the subway is a LEGIT toilet. Walking head down focused on just getting home, ready to go up the stairs then BANG WABOOM WAMMMMY WOWZERS followed by vomit, there is that 1 person ahead of you just going to work. Reason I blog this today is cuz yes, you guessed it, somebody had a meatball sub followed by some ice cream and chocolate chip cookies with some diarreah mixed in because this mothafucka was dropping BOMBS, im talking ATOMIC BOMB mothafucka. Unbearable. Fuckin cropdusters.

Dat Dude Of The Week (Week of December 28th)

So the last week of December is here and I have to continue to stick to the script cuz that's what I do ya diggggg....so as the holiday season wraps up and the all the gifts have been unwrapped how abt we go outside and make a snowman....and what if we name him Frosty....so for the final week in December the great DDOW award goes to none other than my boy Frosty the Snowman and all the snowmen out there......Stay icy dude and don't let the kids melt you or eat your carrot nose........Happy Holidays!!!!





Always Chilly,
Drizzy The Snowman

Friday, December 25, 2009

MERRRRRRY CHRISTMAS!


Merry Christmas applebeaners to you and your family! Happy Holidays for those of you who aren't Catholic... but I'm still saying Merry Christmas so deal with it.... Hope you all enjoy this day and hope none of you bastards have been naughty or else its a big lump of coal for your ass!

MERRRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!
- Drizzy Claus and Papa P

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

WTF Happened To.....

WTF happened to the Chappelle Show...how about that....this show should still be on the air.....Damn you Dave just come back and do a few more seasons cuz this shit is timeless. Everyone loved your show and you just bounced from the scene with no warning....Wasssup with that????? If there was one wish I could ask for is 500 million dollars but after that I would ask for the Chappelle show to be back on.....We miss you Dave...I hope this gets to you somehow some way....

Chappelle's Show
And-1 Mixtape
www.comedycentral.com
Buy Chappelle's Show DVDsBlack ComedyTrue Hollywood Story


Chappelle's Show
The World Series of Dice
www.comedycentral.com
Buy Chappelle's Show DVDsBlack ComedyTrue Hollywood Story


Chappelle's Show
Dave on MTV Cribs
www.comedycentral.com
Buy Chappelle's Show DVDsBlack ComedyTrue Hollywood Story


Chappelle's Show
The Playa Hater's Ball
www.comedycentral.com
Buy Chappelle's Show DVDsBlack ComedyTrue Hollywood Story


Chappelle's Show
Making the Band
www.comedycentral.com
Buy Chappelle's Show DVDsBlack ComedyTrue Hollywood Story



Half Baked,
Drizz Chappelle

Creep Of The Year

Hands down the weirdest dude on the planet right here....how the fuck do you go around sniffing another person's ass doesn't help that it's a man and I wanna know how dude doesn't even peep.....sneaky guy man sneaky guy....just to think that our planet is covered with these weird perverts...



Who Farted,
Toilet Paper Nose Drizzy

Monday, December 21, 2009

Dat Dude Of The Week...(Week of December 21st)

Christmas is right around the corner and what would be a DDOW award without the man who brings joy to the hearts of all kids out there....a few weeks ago I gave shout outs to his wifey so no more delay Mr. Kringle AKA Mr. Claus come thru and get your award and make sure I don't get coal in my stocking because I would say this year I've been rather nice....Congrats fat man....don't get stuck in any chimneys.








Ho Ho Hoes???
Drizzy Claus

Can't Stop Laughing


This has to be the funniest fucking commercial I have ever seen, ight I pumped it but yo everytime fatty comes on the TV with this shit I die laughing, I'm talking lol smiley face roflcopter type laughing. Poor dude is doing fuckin Radioshack commercials now... shame shame fuckin shame, oh well at least shit is od funny.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

WTF Happened To.....

OK so wtf happened to great television shows...Everything is reality TV, which I don't have a problem with but over saturation is never cool....every show on TV is just contest about who can sing, who's the fattest or who can live in a house for 6 weeks....like come on bring back the sitcoms like Thunder in Paradise (this show was od cheesy but as a kid it was the shit), Hercules, Knight Rider. We also need shows with live studio audiences like Fresh Prince and Full House. Times are just not the same. The shows now a days are good just not great. Don't get me wrong some shit out there is cool but can be better. That's just how I feel....Television come back!!!!




Closed Captions Brought To You By,
Drizzy Brother Studios

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

2nd Grader Gets In Trouble For Drawing Jesus?

(Must be a psycho to draw this right???)

Driving into work I hear this fucking story, and it got me tight. Some 2nd grader in Taunton, Mass was told to draw something that reminded him of Christmas. So the little shit drew this picture. See something worth sending the kid home and undergo psychiatric evaluation? Cuz I sure as hell don't. Then I find out hes a special need student. And you know what, it still doesn't make any fucking sense. The kid drew X's in Jesus eyes cuz hello Jesus is dead. Your not going to hang from the cross dead with your eyes open. Smart kid if you ask me. Dudes pops was furious and the whole situation fucked with the kid so much that they had to put him in another school. Good job teacher, good shit fucking with the head of a 8 yr old. I mean yeah, the normal thing is to draw Santa, xmas tree, anything other then Jesus on a cross but its not wrong either. I dont know, I feel like this is bullshit and that teacher should be fired for this bullshit. Poor kid.

Mr. Samberg Once Again....

HAHAHA that's all I have to say....This guy is a fucking clown....watch for yourself:



This Is Saturday Night!!!!!!
Shy Drizzy

Monday, December 14, 2009

Dat Dude Of The Week...(Week of December 14th)

So sticking to the script of the holiday spirit here at AppleBeans I would like honor my boy with the red nose who helped guide that sled one foggy Christmas night.....Although most of the reindeer called him names he stood strong and managed to be the man so boof Prancer and Blitzen and Cupid and Vixen,..Ya have nothing on my boy Rudolph....So Mr. Red Nose Reindeer please come get your award and continue to shine on.....





Going Down In Historyyyyy,
Drizzolph The Red Nose Reindeer

WTF Happened To.....

Almost a new year so we going to start a new feature here on apple-beans. WTF happened to is a segment where well we ask wtf happened to a certain anything(celebrity, tv show, song, etc.). So let's start this off with...................

Corey fucking Matthews. Dude went from smashing big titty Tapenga to ? idk. All I know is that this dude was the man. I fucked with Boy Meets World OD OD OD. Now I don't even know if this dude still exists. I know last year there was speculation that he died from boozing n cruisin but that was false, almost came to tears when I read that. Has anyone seen him or seen something he has been in in the last I don't know, x amount of years that they ended boy meets world?? Fuckin Corey, all he wanted was hair like Sean..

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Let's Talk Johnny Law....


Listen here Johnny Law, I'm sick and fuckin tired of the speed limit on highways being 65 fuckin mph. It's pretty fuckin ridiculous to me at this point. We all know that about 99% of people driving in highways do NOT go 65mph. So why play dumb and leave it there? Raise that shit up to like 80. 65 should be the minimum that mufuckas drive in the highway. I just don't see the point at all in leaving at 65. Trips would be much shorter in time, people wouldn't drive like such burgers, and we would achieve world peace all at once. FUCK Johnny, it's time for a change son.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Donde Esta La Biblioteca?


Don't sleep on this show yall, shit is od funny. Thursday nights on NBC is the REAL DEAL.

Wowzers!!!!

This lady is lucky as shit. What the fuck is up with the Boston transit system yo?!?!?!



Safe to say the dude responsible for making sure everyone is in the train and not stuck in the door is now unemployed....maybe these other conductors won't move a train with people hanging on the outside. But let me not put all the blame on the conductor because that lady is partially at fault I bet that will teach her a lesson in not rushing. Thank God you're alive.

All Aboard/Or Not,
Conductor Drizzy

Greatness!!!!

I highly doubt I am the only that thinks this but sandwiches are the greatest thing to ever grace this Earth. Thanks to sliced bread and cold cuts or wateva that fits in between those slices of bread we have the greatest meal in the history of meals. So easy and quick to make, so delicious to eat. I fucking LOVE sandwiches. I think it goes back to being a kid and going on school trips I would get my ham and cheese on a roll and a juice and I would be set. I damn sure knew that the paper bag was not going to hold me back from destroying that sandwich. Sorry just had to vent. Let me know what you think about sandwiches cuz as you can see I love em....I personally believe that sandwiches can end wars plain and simple fuck a dove and an olive branch and all that talk....sandwiches can make people friends. Bring sandwiches to Israel or Palestine (which ever you prefer) and let's see them settle everything.



Ham & Cheese On A Roll Please,
Drizzy the Delicatessen

Monday, December 7, 2009

Dat Chick Of The Week..(Week of December 7th)

So as I stated last week this little award we give out every week here at AppleBeans will revolve around the whole theme of Christmas.....Last week my dude Scrooge got it and this week we have to give big ups to the lady that keeps the fat guy up north happy. So shout out goes to Mrs. Claus....Although it seems you keep the man starving every year cuz he eats up all our milk and cookies (not cool)....but wateva keep up the good work and making sure all the elf and reindeer are in check....AppleBeans appreciate all the good work....





Naughty & Nice,
DrizzleToe

Friday, December 4, 2009

Tiger Woods Remix Lmao


lmfaooo hahahahhahahhaha ahhahahaahhahahhah man this guy is straight BEAT. Well thats what happens when your a dumbass.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Ms. Argentina Dies After Butt Surgery?!?


Well its a sad sad day when a woman dies after trying to better society. I mean lets face it, no one likes a flat ass, and as Ms. Argentina she went out of her way to set an example, to set the tone if you will. Unfortunately something went wrong, REALLY wrong. Females take this a lesson, your ass is NEVERRRR and I mean NEVER good enough. Its a sad sad fucking day in history I tell ya. RIP Ms. Argentina, a true soldier for life.
Click here for article.

Take 'Em Back

Let's enter the time machine real quick and go back to our childhood and tell me this wasn't the shit back in the day...Everyone was doing this dance and don't front....No I'm not talking abt MC Hammer or Vanilla Ice even thou I bumped that shit....I'm talking abt my homie Steve Urkel and the Urkel Dance.....Do the Urr Urr Urr Urkel....wow peep O-Dawg aka Larenz Tate before Dead Presidents....crazy when you see actors back in the day.




Did I Do That?
Drizz Urkel

Booty Pop!!!!

Aww man chicks are gonna be deceiving men until the end of humanity this is nonsense....Booty Pop panties really?!?!?!? Listen if you don't have a butt so what don't fake the funk with this piece of shit.....what's gonna happen when you abt to get it popping (no pun intended) are you gonna be like don't grab my ass cuz its only padding. Fuck that if you don't have a butt maybe you were not meant to have one so let your natural ass handle everything for you.....This is so stupid...peep dude when the chick walks by lmao that is every man in the world I swear....



Big Booty Hoes,
Drizzy Pop

Dat Dude of The Week..(Week of November 30th)

Don't know who to pick this week, let me think let me think.....With this being the month of holiday cheer and all and Christmas breathing down our necks....The next 4 weeks of this great month will be dedicated to Christmas and those who are associated with it.....So this week I'm gonna go with my boy Ebenezer Scrooge.....This guy had to deal with ghosts, you can't win against ghosts so this is why he gets the nod for DDOW....Tiny Tim sorry you were a close second but Scrooge was able to get a spin off show called Duck Tales you on the other hand got a cooked goose for Christmas....So Mr. Scrooge come get your award homie.....






Bah Humbug,
Drizenezer Scrooge

Dat Chick Of The Month (Month of November)

So another month has ended meaning someone needs to get honored here at AppleBeans....So with November being the month where thanks is given....why not big up someone we should thank everyday.....Moms!!!! Yea yea they get Mother's day, everyday should be Mother's day.....so fuck off, anyway go out there and give your mom dukes a hug a kiss and tell her you love her. Big ups to all the Mothers out there we wouldn't be here without ya so thank you and please take this award with honor...yea even you Octomom & maybe even you too pregnant man because technically you are a mom in a man's body after surgery....










MILF Hunting,
Drizzy Drama